On My Couch

Life: as the way it is.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Maher Zain - The Chosen One | ماهر زين - المختار

Posted by zuliana_me |

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Antara malu & hipokrit.

Posted by zuliana_me |

I think there should be an award for the word "hypocrite" as it seems to be the most frequently used word by Malays. As I'm a Malay, that's what I see. 

It was about 10years ago when I was fourteen had I encountered and familiarized myself  with the word "hypocrite". Magazines and newspapers would feature some celebrities or "randomly picked teenagers for some meaningless column just so to meet the number of pages required". Every single time had I read the columns, the featured personalities would then picked "hypocrite" as the most disgusted loathed trait. I just didn't really understand the word.

Since then, the word hypocrite has gained its popularity and even more now. 
In my little world, NO ONE wants to be a hypocrite. They would do anything not to be one. Their lives depend on it. Everyone's life is valued by that, at least that's what they think. They eat, talk, shit and sleep with anti-hypocrite ware switched ON. Like a detainee in their own kingdoms, they confused. They think they are free but a kingdom is just a kingdom, not the world. I'm not excluded.

Now I'm not fourteen anymore. I don't just swallow what ever people shove into my brain.
I dare to question. I dare to dare.
They have misused the word hypocrite!

They say:
If you are shy, you are either naive/ pretending!
If you don't curse you are not free.
If you be nice, please stop acting!
If you talk politely, damn you are hypocrite!

They think:
If you laugh and talk loudly, you rule!
If you proud of doing bad things, you're good.
If you go against the world, you are a free man. (erm..maybe.haha)
If you wear less, you are cooler.

This is what the word hypocrite means now. It means the exact opposite to shyness. It means you are bad, I'm good! Again, I'm not excluded.

Happy Ramadan. My Allah bless our souls.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

What's funny in a weird way...

Posted by zuliana_me |

Hellios, everybody.. anybody... ECHO..!
Yeah, I'm damn bored. I've been wanting to write this post a few days ago but if I was not too busy, I was lazy; spending my time on the couch watching tv, changing channel and hating it. LOL...(sorry if it's not funny).
I was planning on writing something informative but since I didn't jot down my thoughts and with my brain only the size of peanuts, I could not remember. So, yeah honey pies...this will be another lame but I hope still-funny-post from me. 

I've been wondering over some issues that I thought were kinda ridiculous. Lemme tell you what are they.

1# Funny/ Weird:
Beyonce's alter ego is Sasha Fierce. I really don't understand why on earth would Beyonce need an alter ego that looks and acts exactly like her real self. Both like gold colored clothings, blings, fabulousity, and sky touching high confidence. I'm just thinking that if you wanna create an alter ego wouldn't it better when it is out of the world & totally the opposite of the real you? So that you will bring something new to the audiences.

Left: Sasha Fierce                                      Right: Beyonce Knowles
Or either way around.....

To compare this with Sacha Baron Cohen's alter egos, it'd be a laughing matter. Sacha's alter egos are all bout laugh anyway...

Ali G - An English "wannabe" (someone who wants to be something they are not) rapper.

2# Funny/ Weird:
I heard this one on the radio when Miley Cyrus said that her mom sang unbelievably terrible that should stop right away. Wow, I was about to say the same thing to Miley. LOL. So, I vote this one as funny!

3# Funny/ Weird:
Can someone tell me how can Cougar Town, Glee and Two and A Half Man be better than the super awesome How I Met Your Mother? I mean, seriously. Huda, I thought we were humour-soul mate-made in heaven! You betrayed me honeypie. I'll eat you now. Burrpp...

P/S: Glee: reminds me of myself back in school.
       Cougar town: reminds me of myself. Excitement &kelam kabut. Bukan bahagian gatal tu yea tuan-puan..
       HIMYM: reminds me of the kinda friendship that I'm longing for. I have one actually.

That's all babeh!~

Friday, July 09, 2010

Ariel dan Luna

Posted by zuliana_me |


I wonder why lotsa people are talking about it.....

I simply don't get it ;p Hahahaha....

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Sleeping Beauty

Posted by zuliana_me |

Yeah, I definitely feel like a "just-woke up-sleeping-beauty". Just skip the word beauty if you disagree, not that I care...or do I? Hehe.. I haven't been updating this blog for almost two months now which is equivalent to two years in blogging world which explains the post title: "Sleeping Beauty"...You can see the connection, can't you?

So, I've been busy with works this couple of months. I had a two-weeks training in Bangkok which was AwEsOmE (please imitate jim carey's voice) coz I met some great & friendly people. Then we had a big client came to the lab so it was kinda busy and now we have tonnes of works still. I'm very grateful but I think I'm now living a routine life & for that, I only have myself to blame.

Today I'm not going to complain bout my routine life but I'm going to share a bit bout my AwEsOmE training in Bangkok. Basically, I'd made some new friends, the hotel room was very nice and I went to the town for shopping even though I initially reluctant to go due to the previous chaos erupted in Bangkok. 

I loved it in Bangkok. Thailand people were very nice and soft-spoken, my friends there were all funny especially Bob (He acted & sounded like Andrew Zimmerm! Seriously...) I laughed and smiled almost all the time, even during class coz the trainer, Nathan Hutchinson was really cute.

From the left: Bob, Nathan, Panot, myself, Nie, Wong, Anonymous, Chao & Bruce

Bob & Bruce were wondering why Asian girls (or guys in that case) tend to put up "peace" sign every time posing for the camera. I said it's simply because we didn't know how to pose like a model. Thus, here as seen in picture above is them trying to give us some tips on how to give creative poses.

Panot was being super nice to accompany the three of us to Bangkok's shopping malls and flee market. It was really fun! I also took some pics at the market.

Haha...sempat ambil gambar abang hensem berbaju hijau lagi...;) & I loved the pink taxis! Tuktuk (motorbike taxi) tak sempat nak naik.

I was lucky to have a happy-go-lucky girl classmate, Nie, during the training. She was a genius. Bob often said to me in the lab: "Mulan (Nie) is creating a Frankenstein" or  "She's a rocket engineer".

P/S: When you are an engineer, you complain bout how tiring and time-consuming your life is; you wish you were a doorman. If you were a doorman, you'd complain how boring & tiring your life is. 
Does this make any sense to you?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Bila tak kenal diri sendiri

Posted by zuliana_me |

It happened this morning, such an annoying scene that greeted and ruined my day (cheh, over giler...;)
Ok, I'm not poetic and I'm suck in it so just cut the craps and get down to business. This should be a story with positive lesson but since I'm feeling bimbo today & for a dramatic effect, let me first change into my alter ego, Ms. Joyah Kepoh ;)

Pagi tadi masa nak sarapan, Joyah menonton MHI kat TV3. Pengacaranya ialah Wardina & "John Doe". Mula-mula tengok, Joyah masih rasa ok lagi walaupun tau mamat ni memang sangat skema & lebih sesuai jadi guru Bahasa Melayu di sekolah sebab dia asyik nak betulkan tatabahasa orang aje. Makin lama Joyah tengok, makin pelik pulak jadinya. John Doe bercakap tanpa henti, potong semasa  sedang Wardina bercakap dan asyik nak menang saja. Di bawah adalah senarai benda annoying yang John Doe telah lakukan semasa mengacara MHI pagi tadi.

Urghh #1:
Pembuka kata yang membosankan:
"Selamat pagi semua, semoga dalam kesibukan ke tempat kerja ini anda tidak menjadikan diri anda hamba cermin. Kerana jika menjadi hamba cermin, anda akan........(isi tempat kosong).... Jika cermin itu mempunyai perasaan ia mungkin akan memecahkan dirinya."
I was like: " Err...are you kidding me? Urghhhh...!"
Urghhh #2:
Bila Wardina sebut mengenai pelacur, die betulkan jadi "andurmuda-ke-wateva-la" (dah cuba cari sama maksud pelacur kat internet tapi gagal). Hebat dowh John Doe...dia pun nampak sangat bangga.
Seriously, I didn't even care about the andurmuda thing. It distracted my focus from the main topic & John Doe always acted as if he was the best. 

Urghhh #3:
Sedang sibuk John Doe bercakap mengenai isu macam-macam, Wardina pun cakap:
"Zaman moden ni banyak sangat perlu dipelajari sampai kadang-kadang kita lupa untuk menilai & mengenali diri sendiri"
Kena batang hidung Joyah, John Doe & seangkatan...;p
Mungkin ayat John Doe tak la teruk sangat tapi cara dia yang buatkan Joyah dan ramai orang rasa tak senang duduk. Atau mungkin Joyah sangat bosan hari ini lalu menjadi kejam...Wakaka!
Joyah gedik jugak cuma nasib baik Joyah bukan artis. Ok, sekarang Joyah nak pergi bertaubat.

Monday, April 19, 2010

A hot date for geeks! Finally...

Posted by zuliana_me |

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Berita yang Sangat Menarik!

Posted by zuliana_me |

Hi, dear fellas. Sudah makan? Still in bed with ur laptop turned on all night and now your dried saliva is already left a mark on the lappy? Good. It's a beautiful morning here so go push your heavy lazy ass off the bed now and do something meaningful like reading a newspaper... or my blog, or not.

Maaf. Mengarut di pagi yang indah memang seronok, otak masih mamai. Mood yang sesuai untuk baca surat khabar rakyat yakni Harian Metro. Serius... banyak yang boleh kita ketahui dari Harian Metro. 

Jika anda nak tahu apa yang terjadi kepada Mak Joyah sebelah rumah yang selalu bergaduh dengan suami atau anak kecil yang menjerit dan menangis didera di tingkat bawah umah anda selama ini tapi anda buat dunno.. Bacalah di Metro. Mungkin meraka sudah KO. Insensitive? Tell me bout it.

Dua hari lepas aku ada baca beberapa berita menarik di Metro (sebenarnya baca tiap-tiap hari). Yea, orang selalu buat tanggapan negatif terhadap Metro walaupun sebelum mereka membacanya. Jadi, mari kita tinjau apa yang menarik di Metro minggu ini & sebelum bersama Zuliana Abu Kashim.

Berita pertama ialah mengenai seorang janda yang ditipu hampir rm100 ribu oleh teman lelaki warga Afrikanya. Taktik biasa macam nak seludup dadah, lelaki itu mendakwa dirinya seorang pelajar di universiti tempatan dan mereka pertama kali jumpa di shopping mall. Wanita itu telah memberikan segalanya kepada lelaki itu termasuk diri dan duit simpanan utuk pelajaran anak-anaknya yang bernilai hampir rm100 ribu. Duh, atleast now I know that the woman loved the nigga more than her own children. Ok, moving on...

Berita kedua mengenai seorang budak 15 tahun yang berkeras nak kawin dengan teman lelaki yang berusia 19 tahun. Remaja perempuan itu yang merupakan pelajar terbaik negeri UPSR telah melarikan diri dari rumah & tinggal bersama keluarga lelaki itu. Siap pergi pejabat polis semua. Cold giler that girl! Sian mak dia sampai pengsan-pengsan nak peluk anak kesayangan yang digendong ke ladang getah ketika kecil tetapi sekarang anak dia buat muka benci. That girl was the family's hope to break out of poverty but now that this thing happenned what do you think is going to happen next? Teman lelakinya berkata, "sekarang situasi menang-menang".
Waklu menang-menang! Ko dapat kawin dengan that girl, janji nak bagi dia sekolah. Cakap...

Wanna know what will happen the next 3 years?
Lelaki tu gaji tak banyak & malas tetapi bilangan anak dah bertambah. Jadi perempuan tu pun kena la berhenti sekolah & keje untuk beli susu anak. Duit lelaki dilaburkan ke perempuan lain/ todi/ ganja.  Perempuan & anak kena dera, lari rumah emak. Mak ko yang dah tua tu gak yang kena keje tolong tanggung ko lagi. Me being negative? It just reality & I've seen it happened before.

Berita ketiga pasal redmummy penulis blog yang dapat rm10ribu sebulan dari nuffnang. Hebat, aku pernah singgah blog dia dulu tapi tak ingat apa. Jadi aku singgah lagi sekali hari tu. Post dia hari itu mengenai kucing dia yang tengah gersang & buat projek hari-hari everywhere. Di selitkan juga beberapa gambar kucingnya sedang buat projek. Ok, tukar page.

Kesimpulannya, inilah ringkas berita yang terdapat di Metro. Maaf aku jadi negatif setelah mambaca Metro (Damn you, wanna blame my fave newspaper, you badass!). Have a great day!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Strip me open.

Posted by zuliana_me |

Hi, all Homosapiens! I hope at least one of u still exist here. Or not.


Today I'm going to strip myself open. Inside. Why? Mainly because I'm damn bored waiting for others to update their blogs so I could have a good laugh. Sounds like a loser to you? It does to me.

By the way, I'm writing this post because I "finally" realize how rarely do I write on this blog. Instead, I prefer to wander and leave a comment or two at other blogs. Haha..sometimes the shits I left on others' blogs are even longer than my own post.

Feizal said it's because I'm afraid of critics, that's why I rarely write on my own blog. In the end, just for the sake of writing something for that month & not letting myself sleep at 9pm, I'd write something that I don't really like/ some easy lame pieces that others already know.

Feizal was right.. I'm such an insecure person. I do not mind leaving long comments on others' blogs because I dun give a damn if people judge me there because it's not my piece of work. There is an advantage of that as it allows me to open up and say want ever I have on my mind. While blog to me is a piece of work: leisure or serious matter, both counted.

I also have the tendency/ obsession to change my post title, pictures and contents a few times so people will understand what I'm saying. Then, after I published the post, I would read it again often it'd come with grammar mistakes. Haha...wateva.

                                              I'm not afraid of you, ya monsters! ;p

Yea, so that is the reason why I rarely write on this blog besides of my crawling-to-bed time at 9pm. Not that you care...;) Thank you for reading.

P/S: I sometimes wonder if I'm stupid as I find it's really hard to explain something. Especially to guys..huh... :(

Friday, April 09, 2010

America's Next Top Models stupid lame actings!

Posted by zuliana_me |

It was a few weeks ago & I was getting ready to go to work I saw something on TV. It was the i-guess-new America's Next Top Models! Oh, yea I love that show. I love to see all the beautiful girls & the "reality show" because somehow I'd try to related what happen on the show with my life, myself ;p

However to my horror, at one part I saw all the girls reading a message from Tyra. Out loud: TO-GET-HER! It's really like 1st graders OK... Damn, it was disturbing to see some grown ups to do the same thing. It was not cute/ charming. Nope.

I could even see some of the girls felt like being forced to do that. They tried their best not to smile from ear-to-ear like the rest. Faking of excitement is what it is..

In this new show, we can also see all the girls act like they are entering some cheer leading competition. They would jump and scream excitedly over everything! Seriously! I don't know if this is a new trick/ gimmick to attract people attentions, bad or good as long as they watch it. Shame to admit, it works on me. LOL. I still hate the lame acting, YES. It just my butt is glued to the couch already... eyes glued to the TV only to find other freaking ridiculous things out of ANTM. Yeah, we know you were the man Tyra. Too bad too much faking is not going to keep me watch it any longer. ;)

Yes, I guess that concludes my entry today.. Have a good life all!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Pisau Cukur Trailer

Posted by zuliana_me |

Oh, malasnya nak menulis.. But I have to, coz it's like the only way to activate my brain cells *literally*.

Ok, yesterday I watched Pisau Cukur on Astro BoxOffice and as we all know, astro will play each of its movies for more than just a couple of times and almost everytime they replayed Pisau Cukur, my mom, lil sis and I would sit and watch it. Why? It's damn funny! That's why..

Maya Karin and Fazura both look stunning in that movie. All the actors played their parts really well, the storyline is excellently structured and the script is full of humor and very spontaneous. It's so giddy it makes you feel happy just to watch it.

We especially love Rafidah 3R who acted as receptionist in that movie. She is great! Very sarcastic and really looked like an annoyed and bored spa worker. Ayat dia memang best... Too bad I could not upload Rafidah's part. So tengok la yea, kat BoxOffice 952 ;)

P/S: I wish I'm a better writer. Kalau blog obefiend, post ni layak masuk Blog Serius je.. Metroll pun tak layak. Takpe... I'll write better post next time ;)

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Lesson Learned: Be Sensitive? Ermm..

Posted by zuliana_me |

It has been quite sometimes since my last post. I had so much to share yet too lazy to write them down. Now that I finally have the time and strength to force my fingers dancing on the computer keyboard, I'm not wasting any time.

This week I've learned some very valuable lessons. 
Lesson: Be Sensitive.

Ceritanya begini... Last Friday I was bored to doom coz there was nothing to do at work since the replacement for the broken machines had not arrived yet. So, after cleaning the lab and finished a simple test, I went online, open my Facebook and start commenting at others' status...
I then saw 33 comments at my cousin Kina's status. It says something about hijab & the comments were actually a matured debate between Kina and a guy named Khabs.

Khabs believes that hijab is only compulsory for prophet Muhammad's wives and not for other Muslim women. He also says it is stated in Quran that women should cover their private parts; thus means private parts only. He says Al-Quran is complete you should not need Sunnah/ Hadis and if you believe in Sunnah and Hadis, it means you believe that Al-Quran is incomplete.

Based on his writing (he sometimes wrote in Malay) I firstly thought he was a muslim, which he's actually not. So, me being the Bimbo of the day, jokingly & sarcastically posted a comment on the status:

Wow. i can run naked down the road tomorrow morning, babe! Jogging to work while wearing only some leaves to cover my boobies & tutt... Then start a great naked day at work!

I wont be distracting anyone from doing their jobs.. They are not interested in that juggling things when they can see it, they would not wanna touch it.. The guys are more interested in covered girls, so if we become a nudist, it'd be more likely that guys wont touch me. Cool!

MEN...I know u r imagining what I just said. So screw you when you said "let the girls do whatever they what". Coz u dunno us & most of the time u guys r just speaking for you own benefits. I'm no good but I aint your bitch....
Hahahahaha...Aku... Emo... Echo... errrrrrr......dang
I honestly thought this was funny. A bit nasty in the end maybe. But you see, me being surrounded by people who can make fun of themselves, pull prank and provoke people while not being afraid of negative feedbacks had created BIMBOME. Thus, I tried to do the same without considering that this guy is not in my circle of connection thus he could not take my comment. It ended by him calling me a tin kosong, budak hingusan yang masih menetek kat mak, muntah sana-sini and he said I must must be 13. I said i was 5...haha! ;p

Thus, the morals of the story are:
1) Ones should be resistive enough towards negative comments and trolls if they wish to post something in public, online, and open. What do you expect from something so global and open? If you encounter someone like me and wish to shut her up, say it nicely or do it sarcastically and spicy. Atleast these would work. (Especially when she is not even talking to you)

2) I should be more sensitive:
People neither think the same way nor are they necessarily in the same mood as I at certain time. So, whenever I do something that might hurt somebody, I should apologize. Which I did in the above case but he called me "orang kurang ajar berak keluar mulut". 
I've learned my lesson..;)

Khabs may be a good guy, it just that we happened to bump into each other at the wrong time / attitude. I'm sorry for that.
Ok, I hope you guys are having a great time! Lotsa loves..xxx

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Mimio is all grown up!

Posted by zuliana_me |

Aku ingat lagi masa kecik dulu aku selalu buli budak kecik sorang ni. Dia dulu sangat kecil & comel. Masa dia darjah 5 pun orang ingatkan dia darjah 1. Walaupun dia budak paling kecil dalam kelas tapi setiap tahun pun akan jadi ketua kelas. Ntah...Mungkin sebab muka die yang sangat suci murni masa tu walaupun sebenarnya nakal jugak.

Masa kecik, bila abang dan aku bermain, dia mesti nak join & janji kalau kalah dia tak akan menangis. Tapi dia mesti nangis. Aku dan abang gelak aja...;)

Masa kecik, bila demam dia akan selalu mengigau Kacang Besar/ Selimut Besar kejar dia. Mata dah terbukak besar pun dia still mengigau, jadi abang izam & aku selalu la main2 kan dia. Sekarang dah tak lagi... Dia dah besar.

Masa baby, muka dia bulat macam guli. Kitorang suka letak dia dalam bakul merah satu ni sebab dia nampak comel begitu macam buah-buahan (tembikai).

Walaupun aku sangat garang dengan dia masa kecik dulu, dia pernah juga tulis karangan tentang aku masa darjah 2 “Kakak Saya”:

“Kakak saya sangat pandai. Saya mahu jadi macam kakak saya”, Aku sangat terharu.

Sekarang budak yang aku panggil Mioi (Amirul) dulu sudah besar. Dia jadi lebih baik daripada karangan yang pernah dia tulis masa kecik dulu. Lebih dari aku (hopefully).

Kini Mioi adalah teman aku sneak out tengah malam... (I hate it, I’m 24 this year man... cut me some slack! Hehe..)

Teman aku pergi Uptown untuk perasan UP. Teman panjat pagar kondo tengah malam masa takde orang untuk buat diri aku rasa seperti gangster. Teman aku pakai baju comot & buat lawak bodoh yang mungkin orang lain tak faham. Teman aku & shezlin main gelongsor kat kolam budak kecik malam-malam dan berangan macam kat Sunway Lagoon.

Dia teman aku bila aku takde teman. Aku harap dia dapat pergi Jerman walaupun aku rasa berat... Now I sound like a pathetic with no friends. Lol..;p

Aku harap dia akan berjaya dan menjadi insan berguna. We miss you.

Mioi bersama kawan-kawan Saser dulu.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Mamat Bangla & Malaysian School Girl.

Posted by zuliana_me |

This thing happened 9 years ago when I was in Form 3. My classmates and I were on our way back from Perpustakaan Negara (PMR’s compulsory project). We were waiting for the rain to stop in front of a shopping mall in KL when suddenly a mamat Bangla came approaching us. He gave a piece of folded newspaper to Nabila (my close friend) and asked her hand for marriage.

Damn that guy. Baru jumpe boleh pulak cakap macam tu. Kat budak sekolah pulak tu… No wonder why there are many Malaysian school girls went eloped with Mamat Indon, Bangla etc. Because of this kinda thing!

Thank god we had brains and absolutely not desperate. Nabila was not comfortable so I scolded that guy by telling him that I’m Nabby’s big sister (not that he would have believe it). That Mamat Bangla was still tailing us and ogled Nabby from afar.

I wished Nadia, Nabby’s cool twin sister were there. We should have called a police but still had some pity on that desperate-to-get-a-permit guy. Some of my friends said not to open the folded paper as they afraid it may contained some jampi thingy… Hehe… so we didn’t. I still wonder what was inside the folded paper or it was just a piece of paper with his name and contact number on it. Maybe he was just trying his luck hitting on Malaysian school girls. Who knows if he was lucky enough, he would have a Malaysian girl as wife but failed to get green card, dumped the wife and went back to Bangla. Wahaha…

PS: I dun have the pic right now but this week, I’ll put the pics of my ex-classmate during raya reunion at Najhi’s house, Bandar Tun Hussein Onn.

Also, I’m going to rebuild my blog this weekend coz it looks so boring. I’m going to dress it up nicely, prettily ;)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Awesomeness of the Old Dogs

Posted by zuliana_me |

Ok, I'll just do a brief & quick review on this since I'm now at work.
Last week, Teha brought Apai, Awein and I to the screening of Old Dogs (on free tickets from Karangkraf). It was fun. The movie was damn awesome! I laughed my heart out until I could hardly breathe. Serious!

“Hahahaha!!! Oh, I can’t breathe…. My jaws might as well dislocate….. Damn”

In fact, I’d still laugh if I had a recap of that movie on my mind now. HAHA…
So go watch it! Sangat sangat sangat BEST! Ok, I will write a proper post sooner = Tomorrow.

Next post will be on:
 Mamat Bangla and Malaysian School Girl.

 Mimio is all grown up. He’s now my best friend!